First off, Ammendment One Voting is today. Sign this petition for me please if you haven't already!
[link]

And now for some actual stuff about me, that relates to me. (What, I'm caring about myself suddenly? Don't worry, I still don't c: )
First off, I'm in a lot of pain again because the cyst on my tailbone is apparently back. (Well.. it never left, unfortunatly, but I've been too afraid to tell my mom about it, and it's kinda been a mutual thing. It lives there and doesn't hurt me, and I don't mind. Well it broke it's truce so I'm breaking mine. So i'll probably go to the emergency room again on Friday or Saturday. Yey.

Next, school finals + exams are coming up. I know I have one in Calc tomorrow, and I think pretty much all next week I have one too. I also have Physical pain Science exams tomorrow and Friday, then who knows when the Final is. I'm scared for it. But after that, I can finally relax a bit. School ends on the 25th, and *chochoc96 and ~Kuejena are coming to my house to spend the night, then we go to Raleigh for Animazement, and hang out there for the weekend ^^ We're gonna go to an art museum, watch a movie, shop, and tons of fun stuff ^^ So I'm excited for that! (Already have $100 of spending money that I've hoarded <3 I plan to have like $150 since I know money goes FAST. Plus I'll most likely buy Choc a few things <3)

And another thing I wanna bring up is my art. Sometimes I'll draw something, and it's just like, "WOW! I did that! " I've had a lot of that lately. But now it seems more often than not it's like, "Wow. That... sucks. I can do better." And it's really been pulling me down. I see all of these wonderful artists online, and I wish I could be like them. I try to draw and get better at what I do, so that I could be actually good. It's been especially hard on me because I'm thinking of shifting careers again...
With an art job, I know it'll always be in demand, and I know that there's a lot of money in that industry (plus my mom is always coming home with stories about her customer's relatives doing excellent in art jobs), and it's something I can see myself doing and enjoying! But.. I don't know. Things and thoughts have come up... and I'm questioning that now. I'm not that good of an artist. I'm average, if you're going to give me any credit. I guess having Kasaria on my resume would be pretty sweet... but I hardly do any art for that anymore. I like other people's art better than mine (and I won't have to revamp it 124243560460 times because mine just isn't up to par). But then someone comes along and tells me how great my art is, or I get an award (art award in public speaking class!?), and it makes me feel good. Like I can actually GO somewhere with my talent. "Talent".
But I just don't know. Would I be better going off as a doctor or something, like everyone else? I think I'd be accepted in more cases. "An Artist? Oh that's nice. But that doesn't help society." "Oh a DOCTOR!? That's AMAZING! Wow, you're so smart! Thanks for all that you do!" I hear stuff like that a lot. Besides, doctors are doctors. There's not too many "super outstanding doctors" like there are artists. Sure there's some like that, but.. how do I word this... They're mostly the same. And there's lots of money there, blah blah blah. I was thinking of working at a lab where they test to see what's in your blood and such. *shrug* It's not something I enjoy doing (sure it's fun every now and then in school), and it's not something I'd see myself enjoying for life. Art is different.
But which is better for life? I'd hate to be separated from my partner because of my job. That's a major factor that's screwing me over here.
My mom always said, "If someone loves you, they'll wait." (like if we have to be separated, or they want an instant marriage or something) but that's not the problem here. I'M the problem. I can't wait. :'c  I have major separation anxiety issues.

So um... yeah. There's a little bit of ranting for ya, I hope ya don't mind. I don't really care if anyone read or not *shrug* Just needed to get it out on paper. Or.. out.